Romans 11:33-36

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! “For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?” For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The Picture of Marriage


Don’t you just love a good mystery? Mysteries are fun because all the clues point to the answer. In today’s passage, Paul reveals the fact that marriage is a mystery. But it’s not just an ordinary mystery. Marriage is a mystery that reveals the true nature of Jesus and the love He has for His bride, the church.

This is the second message of our Faith and Family series. The manuscript from Sunday morning’s sermon from Ephesians 5:22-33 is available here. You can listen online or download the .mp3 audio file or podcast from the player at the bottom of this page.

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Monday, July 20, 2009

The Great Gospel Mystery


Everybody loves a mystery. When I was growing up, Hardy Boys Mysteries were some of my favorite books. It seemed like every time I went to the library, I came home with more of them. I remember looking on the back cover at the list of all the titles and checking off which ones I had already read. When I got a little bit older, I graduated from Hardy Boys to Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie Mysteries. I enjoyed reading mystery books because they made me think. As I read, I rarely knew who committed the crime even though the author continually gave clues throughout the book. Sometimes those clues would lead to nothing more than a wild goose chase, but occasionally they were fairly easy to figure out. If you paid enough attention to the subtleties and clues, you could figure out the mystery. Whether you figured it out or not, the final pages would clearly unveil the mystery. There was always a review of the most important clues and those clues would all be tied together. The result was a completely clear picture of what really happened. The mystery was solved!

The words that Paul uses in Ephesians 5:32 are interesting. When referring to marriage, he says, “This is a great mystery.” What is he talking about? How is marriage a mystery? Marriage had been going on for thousands of years since God first instituted it in the Garden of Eden. When God instituted marriage, He used it to provide for our need for intimate relationship. He also used it to illustrate His nature. There wasn’t much mystery there—God established marriage as a permanent covenant relationship in order to show His covenant nature. He established marriage as a new, one-flesh union that replaced the individual lives who went before. That was a wonderful display of His regenerating nature.

The covenant nature and regenerating nature of marriage weren’t a mystery. God clearly revealed them when He first established the institution in Genesis 2. What remained a mystery was how God would accomplish those things. How would He fulfill His covenant? How could He establish a permanent, faithful covenant relationship with people who are completely unfaithful? How would He provide regeneration? How would He cause all old things to pass away without doing damage to His holiness? How would He make all things new? That was the mystery. And, like any good mystery, the Old Testament is filled with clues.

Looking back on the Old Testament from this side of the cross, we can see the entire Gospel in its pages. But from the perspective of the Old Testament saints, all they had was hope and trust in the promises of God. They didn’t see how the clues would all fit together but they trusted that God would fit them all together and reveal the mystery in His perfect timing. What is fascinating is that one of the clues God gave was marriage. Of course, many men in the Old Testament messed up the clues that God was giving them when they had multiple wives. That was never God’s design and it was sinful. Had they not engaged in that sin, they would have had a clearer picture of the mystery of salvation that God was revealing to them. But they were hard-headed just like we are.

If we treated marriage like we are supposed to, we wouldn’t have such a hard time spreading the Gospel. Instead, the testimony of Christ's love for His bride would abound because a wonderful picture of the Gospel would be constantly on display in our lives. Throughout the Old Testament, God used marriage as a clue to His redemptive purposes in Christ. They just didn’t get it. Today, God still uses marriage as a picture of His redemptive purposes in Christ. Imagine the response in the world today if we were to “get it” and display the sacrificial love of Christ for His bride in the way that we sacrificially love our wives. Once again, the church would be turning the world upside-down for Christ.

Hebrews 12:2

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Thursday, July 16, 2009

Who Gets to Decide?


Who gets to decide the definition of marriage? This is an especially pertinent question these days—especially in West Virginia. Thirty-one states have amended their constitutions to define marriage as the union of one man and one woman. West Virginia isn’t one of them. West Virginia is one of the states who is relying on legislative Defense of Marriage Acts. That is a problem because the eight states that now legally recognize homosexual marriage, used to have Defense of Marriage Acts. In each of their cases, DOMA was overturned by their state courts. Despite that fact, the West Virginia legislature has consistently affirmed the sufficiency of state law as it stands. Recent opinion polls have revealed that 94% of West Virginians think that voters, not judges or politicians, should settle our definition of marriage. The only means that West Virginia has to bring forth ballot initiatives is through the state legislature. As long as they continue to stonewall the issue, our state is in danger of being the next domino to fall.

The political aspect of this debate is certainly frustrating. But more than that, the fact that this is even an issue is most disturbing. In each of those cases, the question has been, who gets to define what marriage is? Is it the government that gets to define or redefine marriage? The answer to that question is an unqualified, no. Government does not get to define marriage. Society does not get to define marriage. Petitions and polls and public opinion do not get to define marriage. Why? Because marriage has already been defined. It was defined by the One who designed and created it in the first place.

As our state and nation continue to speed down the spiral of sin, homosexuality is simply one of the inevitable road signs along the way. I hope that our state legislators will allow the citizens of West Virginia to vote on the issue. And if they do, I trust that our voters will amend our constitution to define marriage as between one man and one woman. But even if that happens, I am under no illusion that things will be markedly better. We will still have a 50+% divorce rate. 60% of our citizens will cohabitate before marriage. Illicit heterosexual relations will still be rampant.

Legislation can produce a legally binding definition of marriage. But a legally binding definition of marriage will do little to fix the wretched condition of marriage in our state. Only a change of heart, brought on by a reviving movement of God, will truly restore our marriages to the point where they fit the definition of the One whose definition really counts.

Genesis 2:18-24

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Friday, March 13, 2009

The State of Marriage


This morning, I saw this video advertisement posted on the Drudge Report. While true societal change only comes as a result of a work of the Spirit of God in the lives of people, we as individual Christian citizens are called to exercise our civic duty in a Christ-like manner. One of the ways we can do that is to support laws that will restrain evil and point people to Scriptural truth.

The law does not promote righteousness, but rather is a schoolmaster that restrains evil and shows us how far we fall short of God’s righteousness. To mix metaphors, the law is a signpost that points people to their need for a Savior. Back in January, I posted an article titled The Law, Marriage and Morality that deals with this very subject. With that biblical view of the relationship between the church and law in mind, consider this video and the level of political involvement it requests.





From the website:

Same-sex "marriage" is a closer reality in West Virginia than you may think. Opponents of marriage are working on a chaotic strategy that lets five judges in Charleston decide the definition of marriage, rather than the people of West Virginia.

But, the people of West Virginia want to define marriage for themselves. And they should! Here are 4 things you can do to stand for marriage in West Virginia:

1. Pray for strong, stable marriages in the Mountain State.
2. Call your legislator (1-877-565-3447) today and ask them to allow you to vote on the constitutional definition of marriage.
3. Email your friends an invitation to wv4marriage.com.
4. Give to the ongoing efforts to stand for marriage in West Virginia.
Also:

Marriage is among the most unifying of issues for West Virginians. More than 90% of West Virginians believe voters should settle the definition of marriage, not judges. But some legislators have labeled such attempts at self-governance, "a disservice to the public."

Public policy should be decided by the public. Yet, unless the West Virginia legislature lets the voters of this state vote, marriage could be redefined without a single West Virginia voter casting a vote.
Jeremy Dys and the rest of the West Virginia Family Policy Council are doing a fantastic job of raising awareness and generating support for a marriage amendment to the state constitution. Click the WV4Marriage.com button in the sidebar for more information about what they are doing or how you can support their efforts.

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Friday, February 13, 2009

The Reason for the Season


Valentine’s Day is upon us! I write that with an exclamation point, not out of excitement, but out of panic. If you are like me, you are feeling the same panic because you realize that it’s the day before Valentine’s Day and you have yet to get anything for your wife. While I personally think it’s all part of a vast conspiracy created and propagated by Hallmark, I still am forced to participate. But aside from my vague protestations concerning the crass commercialization of another holiday (a smug-sounding way of saying I hate shopping and dread it further because I’ve waited till the last minute again)—Valentine’s Day is another wonderful opportunity to recognize the sacredness of marriage. Each year at Christmas, we encourage each other to remember the true meaning of the season. We ought to do the same at Valentine’s Day. It is a season for romance and a celebration of sweethearts—each of which is an expression of the marital love between a husband and wife.

But it goes even deeper than that, because even the gift of marriage is a picture. God instituted the covenant of marriage as a beautiful picture of the intimately loving, self-sacrificial, covenantal relationship between Jesus Christ and His church. As Jesus is to His church, so a husband is to be toward his bride. And as the church is supposed to be toward Christ, so is a bride to be toward her husband. The Lord has given us a beautiful picture of the way He loves us in the covenant bonds of marriage.

Of course, that picture is often distorted because of the fact that we are fallen people living in a fallen world. With divorce, abuse, infidelity, nagging, neglect, selfishness and a host of other issues, we have allowed the stain of sin to permeate the picture. But even though the picture is often marred in reality, it is beautiful in the ideal—as is the church.

The ideal marital relationship is highlighted in Ephesians 5:22-33. And not incidentally, that passage also highlights the ideal church relationship. So this year, as you go out to buy your sweetheart a card and some chocolates, don’t stop there. Cards fade and are quickly forgotten. Chocolates get eaten—quickly in my house. But the best things of marriage last forever—just like Jesus’ relationship with His church. This Valentine’s Day, purpose in your heart to strive for God’s best, both at home and at church.

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Monday, January 19, 2009

The Law, Marriage and Morality


Can the law promote morality? In light of conversations concerning the need for a state marriage amendment to the West Virginia state constitution that is one of the questions I am wrestling with.

Theologically, I know the answer—laws don’t cause righteousness. Otherwise, the most perfect legal system ever created would have produced generations of righteous people. In other words, if better laws were the answer to society’s root problems, we would look to Mount Sinai for our salvation. But we don’t seek salvation in legislation because theologically, the law can only do two things. First, the law shows us our sin and removes our excuses for sin. Because human beings are created in the image of God, we have an inherent sense of right and wrong. When someone else (preferably someone we have no emotional connection to) violates that sense of right and wrong, we demand justice. When we demand justice, we implement laws. When we implement laws, we expose the hypocrisy and injustice in our own lives because we violate the very root causes of the sins we rail against. That should show us our sin and remove any excuses and justifications we can come up with before God. But, as we know, the law rarely does that—as a matter of fact, it never does, apart from a work of God’s grace. So that reveals the second function of law. Since we are depraved and incapable of righteousness, law acts as a God-given tool for man to use to restrain evil in the world. So, theologically, apart from a work of grace from God, legislation cannot produce righteousness in people. It can only restrain evil.

Theology isn’t theory. Orthodoxy is worthless unless it manifests itself in orthopraxy. So, how should this theological understanding of legislation play out in practice? This is a broad, ethereal question, so let me be more specific. How does this theological understanding shape the Church’s involvement in state marriage amendment legislation?

Two specific cases show striking similarities and stark contrasts between how this issue was treated and viewed in the early 18th century and now. First, the case of Ichabod Austine and Sarah More, as reported by Marvin Olasky in the book, Abortion Rites: A Social History of Abortion in America:


On April 1, 1712, a grand jury that included Mathew Austine charged Mathew’s son Ichabod with being “the reputed father of a bastard child begotten on the body of Sarah More.” The jury acted after Miss More testified that Ichabod was the father; he was sent to jail until he posted bond, and was told that he had better be “of the good behavior towards her Majesty and her Liege people & Especially toward the sd Sarah More.” On July 1 the case was continued, for Sarah More was not yet “Delivered of sd child,” and it may have been hoped that marriage would ensue. By October 7, however, she had given birth, and Ichabod had not come through; he was ordered to pay child support.
In this case, the penalty of law was brought to bear on Ichabod because he was clearly in violation of God’s (and society’s) familial standards. Since he refused to marry the mother of his child, as morality and society demanded, he was forced to pay the penalty—providing financial support of the child. Compare and contrast with the following excerpts taken from this past Sunday’s article in the Flint (Michigan) News:


Gary Johnson owes taxpayers nearly $3,800 for the birth of his daughter. The state will let him off the hook but there’s a catch—he has to marry the mom. But the mother doesn’t believe her wedding should be any of the state’s business.

“I don’t think anybody should tell me when to get married,” said Rebecca Witt. “I would like to have a nice wedding and I can wait for it.”

Five years ago, state lawmakers amended the state’s paternity act to waive birthing
costs for a father—if he married the child’s mother….

Because [the unmarried mother] was on Medicaid at the time [of now 2 year-old JaeLyn’s birth]… [the father] has to pay the hospital costs….

Johnson said he understands the state wants to promote marriage for parents but respects Witt’s stance on the issue. “It’s a woman’s dream to have the best wedding she can have,” said Johnson.
In each case, the law demanded that fathers of illegitimate children take financial responsibility for their irresponsible and immoral actions. But notice how the responses were completely different. In the 18th century case, the state was simply restraining what was understood by society as evil. In the modern case, the state is attempting to impose a righteousness that is rejected by society. There is a huge difference. The first case is theologically correct and was as successful as it was intended to be. It was not intended to bring righteousness—it was intended to restrain (not stop) evil. That it did. The second case is theologically incorrect and will never be successful. The Michigan law is not intended to restrain evil, but rather to “promote marriage” and “encourage marriage.” In the words of a spokesman for the American Family Association who was interviewed for the Flint News article: “Government has the authority to encourage marriage and should use that power for the overall good and stability of society.” The law will never do that, because it is not capable of doing that.

So, how does this apply to my personal wrestling with the concept of state constitutional marriage amendments? Do societies need biblically based laws concerning marriage? Yes—and because of that, we as individual Christian citizens should pray for and encourage our legislators to restrain sin by enacting and enforcing biblically based laws. This is perfectly consistent with Paul’s charge to Timothy in 1 Timothy 2:1-3. But our individual encouragement to enact those laws must be couched in the understanding that the law never changes people—God’s grace changes people. We don’t promote legislation in order to save society. Society certainly needs saving, but legislation isn’t going to do it—the gospel will. It is that understanding that should guide our churches in our level of governmental involvement. Local churches are not called to be an instrument of law. We are called to be an evidence of, and testimony to, grace.

Galatians 2:20-21

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