Personal Testimony, Part 2

Satan began his deception almost immediately after I surrendered to the ministry when, instead of pursuing the pastorate, I decided to study Christian radio and television broadcasting at John Brown University in Siloam Springs, Arkansas. My brief initial stint in college was marked by spiritual decline, rebellion, and ultimately carnality. My rebellion was so thoroughgoing that, when I left college, I even began to dabble in the occult. In the midst of my horrible rebellion, God graciously showed His mercy by giving me a godly wife and a career in the Air Force.

For several years I was what might be called reformed, but not truly renewed. When a person has a call on his life and has not fulfilled it, he can never experience a truly renewed relationship with God. While we were stationed overseas, my relationship with the Lord was more obligatory than full. That relationship continued to wane during years of heavy travel as part of our tour in Gulfport, Mississippi, eventually becoming lukewarm at best. I often succumbed to sin, but I did not live in open rebellion as in the past. Sometimes I even filled important roles in the church like Sunday school teacher and deacon. Something was amiss until the Holy Spirit convicted me that living a decent life and being a hard worker was not the same as truly living for Him.